I should learn Arabic. In addition to French and Hindi and Punjabi. I should have studied Linguistics. I don't know. But I know I should learn more languages now that I am concentrated on practically nothing.

I sometimes hate my state. I am always thinking, my husband says. But now, I think I am fine with it. Even if at times, some thoughts are really depressing. Even if at times sporadic thoughts make me get out of bed and open the PC at 4 am. I am starting to learn how to handle it well. I don't know, maybe because when you are getting used to something, you learn how to manage it well.

I feel more alive now. Oh God, I am surviving.